What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?
I used to think, “Knitting? Why don’t you just BUY the damn thing?”
It felt ridiculous to me that people were willingly trying to make a garment that they could just buy, and most of the time it’s way cheaper.
Like you’re okay with doing one thing repeatedly? Don’t you feel bored? Don’t you get impatient? Are you trying to be superior? Why don’t you guys try something faster?
Until…I tried it myself.
I started crocheting in 2023. March to be specific. And you know what got me interested in it? The thought of making my own stuff and designs only I could make and wear.
I know that’s not a new or a profound thought but unique wardrobe ideas started brewing in my head. Whimsical cardigans, colourful hats, cute accessories. The list was endless. Pinterest was my new best friend.
My mother was hesitantly supportive (if that’s a thing). I dragged her through the market and made her pay for my yarn and hook.
“Are you sure?”, She eyed me up and down, making sure the blistering sun didn’t get to my head. Crochet? In this weather? Are you really gonna do that? She thought I had dropped a brain screw on the way to the market.
I wasn’t scared. No way. No time for that. I was confident. My brain sketched out cardigans and hat designs with the sweat trickling down my forehead and into my eyes. I went ahead and bought a wrong hook and a wrong yarn and jumped back home to make a hat.
It turned out to be shit.
I noticed that my “hat” didnt look like a hat because I had a giant 7mm hook with DK weight yarn. I had never seen a hat with that many holes. Why was it so holey? (Saint-like, iykyk). To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I was angry. Why didn’t it look like a branded hat? No matter how tightly I held the yarn, the holes just…appeared?
The thought that it was my first time trying a hobby and that it wasn’t going to be perfect didn’t touch my brain. It didn’t even exist. I just knew it wasn’t gonna work out for me. I believed I had to crunch out a professional level hat on my first try. Rookie mistake.
I locked up my supplies in the far corner of my cupboard for 6 months. My mother was disappointed. I moved on.
Nearing the end of 6 months, I came across some crochet videos on my instagram and the spark came back.
Out of spite mostly.
Why couldn’t I do it? I was a medical student. I sat very scary exams. I had solved very tricky questions. I had worked on patients. I work well under pressure (sometimes). Why couldn’t I make a freaking hat? How hard could it be?
So I went to the good old internet and searched what was up. Turns out there are different SIZES for the hooks as well as for the yarns. My eyes shot up. How could I be so stupid?
I found out my local online marketplace was selling a set of aluminium crochet hook set. They all looked so shiny, colourful and well…cheap. But cheap wasn’t my concern. I wanted all necessary supplies. We could work on quality later when I’ll be a bit professional (spoiler alert…I still use them. I have attachment issues).
Before placing the order, I told my mother about it. She was upset. Something about not being serious and wasting money and if I was sure. I placed the order as I listened to her.
My set arrived and I got to work. This hat was coming out perfect. I don’t care. It had to. So I found a very easy pattern on Youtube (lmk if you’re interested. I’ll give the link of the video), made some tea and got to work.
Two weeks and several mistakes later, I completed my first hat. I was beyond proud. My mom couldn’t believe it.
I can’t blame her. She saw me swear at yarn a couple days ago and quickly walked past me, avoiding the whole situation.
Ofcourse the hat wasn’t perfect but I could wear it…in public. That’s all that mattered.
The surge of self satisfaction and a real thing (not a lump of yarn) in my hand was indescribable. It felt inspiring.
I understood grandmas in that moment. Yall are amazing. My respect has since skyrocketed for everything handmade.
I went on to crochet for a good year and a half (sort of). It wasn’t until September 2024 that I picked up knitting. I’m still a beginner at knitting.
But one thing is for sure, I understand the feeling of something made out of love, spite and stubbornness.